–
A willow stands upon this land,
an antiquated tree.
How old you ask – I cannot say,
but older than are we.
–
I met this tree when I was young
a boy of maybe three.
And even then it was beyond
a score or more than me.
–
Now, many of years have come to pass
and all have gone but me;
the willow stands to mark the past,
this wonderful, venerable tree!
–
I’ve come to pay my last respect,
I’ve come to say good-bye;
when gone, suspect some further neglect,
What’s this?
–
So strange, it seems I do detect
this willow tree, it cries!
.
.
.
©Marvin Loyd Welborn 2011
Tink's ChapBlog ~ Tales of the Tribe. Mythopoeic Verse 
Oh, some don’t recognize treasures, do they? Your rhythm is engaging and the tale tugs at the heart. Beautiful
Beth
the weeping willow 🙂 I often enjoy reading about it as well…I love your use of a score than me, I only read this term in old world English books of the 1800s, do people still use that term?
Thanks for the visit! 🙂
I still use it [a score = 20 years] where I find it needed….but, then again, people call me ‘over the hill’ too. 😉
Simple and subtle writing that leads to a brilliantly crafted ending. Beautiful piece of art.
Anthony.
Beautifully penned Marvin… (my fav tree) 🙂
Many thanks for visiting my blog and your kind comment
nice…have a willow tree at my parents house…used to play under it because its weeping branches was our mock jungle…nice tink…
I read and commented before but am thrilled to read it again. I have an affinity for willow trees, their sweeping grace and soft mass appeals to me, as though creating a soft sanctuary for my thoughts. Beautiful.
Beth
A willow stands upon this land,
an antiquated tree.
How old you ask – I cannot say,
but older than are we.
love the opening, fun verse, love the emotional sentiments.
🙂
The weeping willow! My childhood is filled with memories of them too…. It seems like you’ve been practicing with rhythm too because this poem literally reads itself right of the screen and into me! Very intensely well done! Tink its meter is what gives it an almost perfect rhythm… May I make a couple of very small suggestions? Just as a fellow poet? I would lose the word “Now” in the third stanza…. That would make the first line of each stanza perfectly metered, the second lines are already there. Also, I changed it in my head and I think the third line of the third stanza should read “That sweet wonderful tree.” But that is just me, and it’s how the rhythm affects me. I noticed with that change, the third line of the first three stanzas come almost perfectly in line, with only a missing unstressed syllable in stanza one. (Which is not noticeable at all.) The fourth stanza gives us that incredible revelation that comes, the weeper appears to be crying…… and so the fourth line of the fourth stanza is absolutely perfect with its two simple syllables… Absolutely hits the mark! The third line of that stanza is also way off of the rhythm, which arguably could be good, because of the revelation coming in the last two lines…… But…… I think that changing the meter of the third line makes the fourth line become a much more powerful crescendo…. I’m not sure what would be a suitable replacement, but I toyed around with “But I found her less than erect”……… I’m sorry Tink, I hope I haven’t upset you….. please trust that I never critique a poets work unless i think it is just a hair away from perfection. And yours is certainly there……
A willow stands upon this land,
an antiquated tree.
How old you ask – I cannot say,
but older than are we.
–
I met this tree when I was young
a boy of maybe three.
And even then it was beyond
a score or more than me.
–
Many of years have come to pass
and all have gone but me;
the willow stands to mark the past,
that sweet wonderful tree!
–
I’ve come to pay my last respect,
I’ve come to say good-bye;
But I found her less than erect
(But I found her less than perfect)???
(But then popped up an odd prospect:)????
What’s this?
–
So strange, it seems I do detect
this willow tree, it cries!
Thanks John, I’ll mull it over in my mind’s ear…. I appreciate your input, as well as your poetry I’ve been reading. thanks again, my friend.
Marvin,
The weeping willow is a classic expression very much accurate when looking at the tree itself. There is a sense of sensuous impact especially when swaying in a light breeze. Your poem captures that blend most passionately.
Thank you for dropping by. Apologies for not responding fast enough to your comments. And another thing, I’ve also placed your blog in my Blog List. I’ll be alerted within minutes of your new posting from now on.
Hank
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